Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
