dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
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I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
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You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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