No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
