2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hippo gnu deer
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
