The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
