Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
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