THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
