sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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