Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i wish my penis had a tongue
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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