Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize