dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
