the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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