I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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