She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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