Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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