Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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