this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
