I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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