my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize