I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.