I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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