Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
