when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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