He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
high people should be assigned attendants
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
