I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
