i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
