Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
