no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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