Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I need help removing her.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
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i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
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All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.