come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
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Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
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And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.