Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering