I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher