This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.