That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
