Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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