doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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