I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
