my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
