Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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