it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
