He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
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Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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