I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
