I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
