So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize