she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
