Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
