great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
