You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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