just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
