This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
