I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
