I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
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What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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