My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
