He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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