Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
