Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
