Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize